The judge sat on the bench on June 4th 2008, the day of the protection order hearing and said that he had never come across anything like this before, and ordered G out of the house on June 6th, 2008. That day is etched in my mind for ever. After the hearing G tried to negotiate, cajole, threaten and manipulate me into giving him “a few more days” to get out of the house but now that I had the backing of the court, I refused. It felt so good after so many years of feeling so weak. I said no to him time and time again. On June 6th, I came home from work and the house was quiet. It was peaceful. It was a Friday, so I had the weekend to wander around the house, getting to know it again after having stayed in motels. I cleaned. On Monday I had the locks changed. On Tuesday I sent all his stuff to his mother’s house, where he had gone. I have not heard from him directly, although litigation is ongoing. I could still lose this house. But what I have gained is worth far more than all the money in the world.
G is still drinking. He has been in trouble with the police since he has lived at this mother’s home. Now I understand that it wasn’t my fault. It was easy to blame myself, because the drinking did get worse over time, so it seemed to be because of me. But it wasn’t. This is just the nature of addiction. It gets worse over time. It sneaks up on the addict and on those who live with him/her. It’s like riding a bike up a hill – as the hill gradually gets harder to climb, you change gears on your bike to accommodate the steeper gradient and for a while, it seems manageable. But eventually, you run out of gears and you just have to get off the bike and walk away. It’s not your fault that that you can’t get up the hill, it’s not that the bike isn’t well made, it’s just that the hill got too steep to climb.
I’m still fighting him legally and there’s a chance that I’ll get to keep my home, but I don’t know. All I know is that I’m happier, stronger and that I’ll be OK. I’ll be just fine.
